such BEAUTIFUL weather..

i figured id update both my xangas.

<3

ahh.. my bday is 2 months from today! =)

prom is also 2 months from today... bleh.. dont want prom on my bday... it better be good ~

so this weekend was fun...
friday i went to neeses and watched disney movies with some of the danceline sophs.. soo much fun girls <3
daniela showed me this: http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?box_id=51208&f_id=842
milk and cereal... jennas new obsession xP

then yesterday.. i went to the mall w/ my mom prom dress shopping.. i already know the dress i want but they dont have it in yet =T
im so excited to see it in person.. ah!
http://www.bebe.com/TheShop/spotlight_031804.jsp
its the white dress.. but im gonna try to get it in blue =D
then i got some stuff from abercrombie.. and spent 200 dollars in victorias secret.. -_-
and of course.. i got godiva.. cant leave the mall w/o gettin some of that... =P

nowww i think im gonna go driving.. ahh i havent in so long.. watch out ;]

currently playing: 311- love song <3
(since xanga is being retarded)

laterr ~ =)

edit// ah, i hate presidential outlines =X... times like these when i wish i was in global... even if geyers tests are impossible..
and i just realized i have a crazy day ahead of me tomorrow -- hafta stay after to do destefanos crap.. then ill prob go watch the lax game.. =)
and i forgot.. the play is on friday.. gotta go see everyone.. =P very excited.. (ive seen enough of the rehearsals..)

<3

wow.

this is gonna be my last xanga entry for awhile i think...
i have so much that i want to say.. i dont even know where to start, my mind is spinning but i cant do anything until i get everything out. even if no one reads this, or no one cares, i just need to get rid of everything on my mind.

first off -- i feel like ive been talking about this constantly.. but slowly but surely, danceline has become a living hell for me. i dont even know what it is anymore, i couldnt tell you if you asked me -- but im so incredibly miserable and i just feel like running out of the gym every time we have practice.. tonight i really felt it for some reason, and i hate it so much. i hate doing this to myself -- i cant wait for this season to be over... i dont know why ive become so completely and utterly miserable, but i definitely have.. i dont enjoy dancing anymore.. i dont get that feeling when i go out on the floor anymore -- i just dread it before it comes and then i cant wait for it to be over... and i hate feeling that way.

okay. second.
why for once cant someone just be fucking REAL in this town.. i feel so incredibly alienated from everyone else all the time -- and i cant talk to anyone.. tonight i just needed someone to talk to, and i realized that no one was there, or ever would be there.. i feel like everyone is just so fake towards me, and that i did something wrong and have to prove myself to everyone in order to have friends that really care about me. i really hate it when i have to be careful about everything that i say around everyone..truthfully, im at the point where i think no one really does give a shit about me. and that hurts, because whenever anyone needs someone to talk to, i always try my best to be there for them. im so sick of this, and i really dont know what to do.. i try to just not care about anyone else, but i just dont have that in me. i hate feeling so alone.

these are times when i miss becky so fucking much. and eli. and the few people that actually loved me for who i was, and didnt hate me behind my back, and were true to me. they were there for me knowing that id be there for them too. its not even like i need a boyfriend.. i just need someone.. because i dont have that anymore.

ok im about to cry, so i should probably stop, right? yeah.

i hate this so much.

goodnight.

early dismissal! =)

craziness -- i hate the snow though =(...
lots of drama today.. and some last night too.. blahhhh..
i really love danceline alot -- and i love the girls too.. but theres soo much drama.. and most of the time i dont really feel like i fit in with the rest of the girls... cuz lets face it im just a little different from most people =P.. but yeah anyways.. im sure ill have my regrets about not going back.. ill definitely miss it.. but i have tons of shit that i need/want to do my sr year.. so yeah =\

then todayyy...
theory was.. interesting..
and nothing else happened really.. until it started snowing and we got this lovely early dismissal.
stood out in the snow w/ andrew waiting for the buses while my makeup was running.. ahaha.. so fuckin cold!!

oh and jimmy.. im not mad at you! dont know why youd think that -- but yeah i think i need to hunt you down cuz i really wanna talk to you! sorry if its scaring you that i wanna talk to you so badly but idk i finally meet you and then you disappear..bleh.. thats what i hate about school -- the people that you want to see during the day you dont.. and then the people that you dont want to see you see all the time...

yeah okay im done -- <3 love you.

been listening to tonss of hip hop lately.. along with the rest of my weird shit =P i dun know why ?? oh well its mad good =)

Currently Playing Jackpot By Chingy One Call Away see related